Living in community as a relatively reserved person, you can feel like you get lost in the shuffle and the noise. Like your voice is overlooked, or worse… ignored.
Sometimes this is my perception. At other times, it might be my reality.
As someone who is frequently labeled an introvert, the hustle and bustle of discussion or the clamor of casual fun-loving conversation can run away without me… even when I feel like I have something to say on the topic. Often, in an effort to find a space to contribute without interrupting the people around me, I resort to raising my hand like I’m a student in an elementary school classroom. But even this isn’t a foolproof method for acquiring the opportunity to express my thoughts.
In situations like this, when space and opportunities to join conversations feel non-existent (or few and far between), I can easily become frustrated. More frequently than I would like, I express that frustration by becoming more vocal, more pushy, and more demanding… because I feel like I have to fight to be heard. And in the process, I become a clanging symbol that lacks love.
Let me clarify, I’m not saying that those in my World Race community have failed to care for me well. In many ways I feel very supported and loved here. Rather, I’m seeking to say that my desire to be heard by people can drown out the work of Holy Spirit in my life. If I allow my desire to be heard to grow into frustration and bitterness, the fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control can be stunted.
But praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ that he hears me. I don’t need to be frustrated, and I don’t need to be bitter; because the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE sees me, knows me, and is aware of my every word… even before it’s on my tongue (Ps 139:4).
Earlier this week I got to see this play out in a way that clearly illustrated the Lord’s care for me.
Cut to one of our many team discussions about food preparation… We were trying to decide what we might prepare for breakfast in addition to our daily dose of eggs. I raised my hand to add in my suggestion, got “called on”, began providing reasoning for my recommendation, and seamlessly got cut off before I was able to name the food item I was hoping for. At that point (in one of my better moments), I let the matter go; but the next morning… we had exactly what I wanted for breakfast anyways.
Talk about the truth of scripture! It didn’t matter that I never got to speak out my opinion in the physical. The Lord heard my voice. He heard my unspoken words.
Isn’t that cool?
I don’t have to fight for myself or the right to be heard, because my God hears me. If he cares about giving me my breakfast of choice, how much more will he care about the things in my life that carry more weight? He is my provider. He is my advocate. He is the one who hears me.
And if you know Jesus personally, the same is true for you.
You don’t have to fight for yourself or the right to be heard, because God is your God. He is your provider. He is your advocate. He is the one who hears you.
May we rest in his character and in his care.
Amen! It’s so good to know that God hears us, knows us, and sees us, even when we feel like nobody else does. I too am often labeled an introvert and I find myself in similar situations where I struggle to make my voice, my opinion, heard. I remember when God first told me that He saw me, it was enough to bring me to tears. And I am so grateful that God reminds me from time to time of this – whether directly, or through other people.
Praise be to God that He can remind you of his love for you in any situation. And trust that He will continue to in the days ahead.
Absolutely and amen! I love the way God revealed to you so personally that he hears you.
Thank you for these insights, Kaitllynn! I hope you continue writing in the future in a capacity that will give others an opportunity to reflect on the truths you so freely share. You put words to a struggle I have, (but don’t always handle well even at my age), and that has helped. Thanking God for the gift of expressing and preserving written words!
Kaitlynn, this is sooo good! Yay! Truth girl!